stardustnpoppycock: (pic#8103343)
[personal profile] stardustnpoppycock
So... I had so many deep thoughts prepared to write about and then my laptop decided to take a fucking decade to boot up and get to my blog. Seriously, I think I have a couple white hairs now. I know I need a new one... the battery doesn't even stay charged anymore, which is driving me nuts! Absolutely batty I tell you. So now all my good thoughts are a jumbled mess and I want to just rant and rant and rant about about technology... and a stiff drink would also be appreciated.

I will say, and I may have mentioned this before, that happiness is all our own doing. I took a cold shower earlier because it's been super hot here and just stuck my face in the icy spray for a good five minutes. I couldn't help but be pulled back to my memories of swimming regularly as a child and while it wasn't my favorite thing then it might just be now. That first plunge into an empty pool, the weightlessness that I can only describe as freedom. Thinking about it made something in me twinge with longing. I've been in a lot of pain lately, the fibromyalgia is doing a number on my leg and feet joints lately but really everything on me has been at some level of pain. Going from a relatively stationary year to suddenly working and standing for seven eight hour shifts in a row is hard.

So the thought of that weightlessness, that sense of freedom of the aches and pains that have been plaguing me sounds... I wish I could say 'serene' or 'perfect' but really all I can think of is 'unbelievable' or 'absurd.' I suppose that's because I don't really know who I am without this constant pain. I would love it if it vanished suddenly... but I know that isn't going happen and I think it would take some getting used to. I am not a complainer... I tend to just bottle everything up and put on a happy smile for the world to see because despite my pain and because I know I am stronger than it I am a happy person. "It could always be worse." Is something I tell myself when the pain is at it's worst.

An optimistic realist with a dreamer complex and a touch of OCD on the side would be an apt classification.

On that note, I think I've written a bit of the pain away so I'm going to try to get some shut eye. I have the place to myself for the next two weeks starting tomorrow!

Squee!
From:
Anonymous( )Anonymous This account has disabled anonymous posting.
OpenID( )OpenID You can comment on this post while signed in with an account from many other sites, once you have confirmed your email address. Sign in using OpenID.
User
Account name:
Password:
If you don't have an account you can create one now.
Subject:
HTML doesn't work in the subject.

Message:

 
Notice: This account is set to log the IP addresses of everyone who comments.
Links will be displayed as unclickable URLs to help prevent spam.

Profile

stardustnpoppycock: (Default)
Whitney

July 2014

S M T W T F S
  12345
6789101112
13141516171819
202122232425 26
2728 293031  

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Page generated Sep. 24th, 2017 08:31 am
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios